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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dil Titli… But Ad is Chipkali...

UfffffffLet me first mute this TV.
In 1990, I would need to walk to the TV just to mute it. Thank god in 2009, I can mute it while lazily resting on my bed :-) And yeah I need to use this feature quite often.
But why?
Well.. Let’s see if you remember this ad which used to come years and years ago… Where an executive is desperately trying to explain his boss his latest business plan inside an elevator? Hmm.. Boss doesn't react after hearing the plan and left... and while our hero is frustrated and walking alone in rain, his boss "calls" up… and he agrees to his planand our hero jumps and punches in the air with super joy!
Or remember that advertisement where an amazing tune is rendered by A R Rehman? He starts that tune on mouth organ just to make a little boy smile… That tune almost became national anthem!!
And remember that advertisement where two boys play football across the barbwires? This ad starts with tense environment featuring barbwires… and within few seconds, that amazing tune from Rehman and two cute little kids will win your heart…

I love watching Airtel ads. Let me correct – I used to love watching Airtel ads.
Not now. Or I should say not at least the latest one.
Dil titli.... it’s an amazing tune! Very sweet! It continues Airtel’s tradition of rendering amazing tunes.. one after another.
But the moment I "see" this ad, it makes me turn off. Come on! You cannot have such sadi si theme with such a lovely tune. I mean Saif changes his color just like a chipkali..!! The end is also as disgusting as chipkali... Alright.. Entire world knows that Saif and Kareen is a couple in real life… But why the hell they need to craft such an end?? WTF.



Phew.
Though the tune is lovely, it still gives me gloomy feeling because it’s part of this tasteless ad. That’s the reason why I change channel or just put TV on mute the moment this ad starts... It’s really not in good taste. At least I don’t find it tasty.
Dear Airtel – You have given us some lovely dovely ads in past. You have rendered some really melodious tunes. After this ad, please give us something which we would not just love to hear, but also love to watch.
Till then, let my TV remain on mute for Airtel.
P.S. : Just read my friend's blog and found this beautiful Airtel ad. This is what we love Airtel for!




© Except videos in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Kahani Raaka, Shaka, Reshma aur Bijli ki…

Raaka : Aged looking Dharmendra wearing a cowboy cap and romancing Anita Raj.

Shaka : A fugitive being chased by police.. Evergreen goonda cum hero Shatrughan Sinha (It’s easy to visualize him as a rowdy or a fugitive than a gentleman or a high profile industrialist! Try once :-))

Reshma : Shaka (Shatrughan Sinha) ki bahen. To make it simpler, Reshma bole to overacting ki maa; who screams every dialogue and jerks / shakes her face before every single sentence!

Jeene Nahi Doonga

Bijli : Raaka (Dharmendra) ka love interest. I wonder why she needs to love such an aged cowboy! Phew. Poor lady.

Badal
: Yeah there is one more character named Badal with weird colored hairdo. He is Raj Babbar. GRRRRRRRR… Come on.. Raj babbar as a hero? Okay he is a good actor but Hero? To accept Raj Babbar as a hero is as difficult as accepting Rakhi sawant in sister's role or Nirupa Roy as a rich woman :D

But who are they???


Well, these characters are from 1984 flick called "Jeene Nahi Doonga". Wah wah kya naam hai! Aisi movie dekhne ke baad kaun zinda rahena chahega :-D

So last night while I was randomly browsing channels, I got a golden chance to watch this movie for a while.

Now watching a Hindi movie is like playing a game of prediction. Especially movies made from'70 to '90.

And trust me, 99% you will have the right guess! Funny...We all know what’s going to happen and yet, we all watch it :)

Don’t trust me? Here are some examples!

  • If there is an honest police officer (who is not a hero), then he has to die within 10 minutes of his appearance and he will surely leave behind -
    a. Pregnant wife OR
    b. Poor wife and 2 sons… These 10 and 8 year old sons will be so mature that they make Confucius look like a dumb ass.

  • Kulbhushan Kharbanda has to die as an honest middle class man or a factory worker wearing blue color uniform throughout the movie.
  • If Ranjeet is in the star cast, there has to be a rape scene!
    a. If Ranjeet is trying to rape our heroine, she will be saved just in time by brave hero.
    b. If Ranjeet is trying to rape hero’s sister or a poor girl from a basti, then Ranjeet will be successful.
  • If Johnny lever is in a movie, there will be hammering. If Shah Rukh khan is in a movie, there will be stammering.
  • While spending his entire life to take revenge, when hero captures a villain, he will say – “main tumhe itni aasani se nahi maroonga….tadpa tadpa ke maroonga….” (Aare yaar villain ko maar aur movie khatam kar… tere tadapane ke chakkar me dekhne walo ki jaan chali jayegi re)
  • If Helen / Aruna Irani is in a movie, there has to be a cabaret.
  • If an honest police officer / journalist finds evidence (video tape / document / CD) against a villain, he/she will make it a point to tell the villain in front of 100 other goons. This scene will be followed by -
    a. Honest police officer being killed OR
    b. Our brave journalist being chased and killed by goons

  • If a hero stays in a basti, there will be a villain cum builder who wants to build a shopping complex there!
  • A hero/heroine can easily disguise by coloring hair or sticking fake moustache or by changing attire to become a sadhu or banjara. In either case, either they will sing a bhajan or raunchy number in front of the villain and his gang and a police officer (and bunch of hawaldars). (How can you disguise like that? I mean with his unbalanced body movement, Dev Anand can’t hide even in a burkha! )
  • If our hero is poor, heroine has to be a spoilt brat of a rich dad. Vice versa is also true.
  • An ordinary hero can easily fight against 10 -20 goondas. Sunny Deol can beat 50 goondas. Rajnikanth can demolish an army.
  • A hero will fight against 10 / 20 / 50 goondas and beat them up; goondas are so disciplined that they will attack our hero one after another… Someone need to teach them the word calledTeam work”!
  • Warning : A song in a Hindi movie is like a ghost. It can pop up anytime and it will always pop up when least expected. (Sometimes, both of them are equal scary!)
  • If it’s a Jeetendra movie, there has to be bunch of earthen pots lined up (and minor blasts in background splashing various colors in all directions) while he shakes his booty more vigorously than Sridevi.
  • A village name must be Rampur or Ramgarh or some name followed by “pur” or “garh”.
  • If there is a Thakur in a movie, then either he will be worshiped like a god in his village or he will be an extremely cruel character.
    a. If he is worshipped, then his younger brother or son has to be a cruel character.
    b. If Thakur is cruel, then our hero has to be 1) a poor man from basti or 2) a recently posted police officer in that area, who refuses to bow down against Thakur.

And yeah, if hero is a recently posted police officer, there has to be a scene where Thakur (or his sidekick) tries to buy him and our honest hero refuses followed by Thakur threatening him by stating examples of what happened to such police officers in the past…

Phew! I am sure you can add lot and lot to this list!

By the way, I want to see a “dream movie”. My dream movie is a one in which -

  • Heroine shakes her booty more than Jeetendra
  • A K Hungal is a cruel Thakur
  • Nirupa Roy is a vamp
  • Ranjeet (instead of removing) gifting a sari to a girl and saving her izzat from goondas…
  • Sunny Deol is beaten up by a street rowdy
  • Kulbhushan Kharbanda is a billionaire
  • Helen is hero’s sister
  • Dev Anand stays steady for 10 minutes
  • Amitabh Bachhan is not Vijay and Shah Rukh khan is not Rahul
  • Instead of kheer or gajar ka halwa, hero’s mom orders dominos ka pizza for him :-)

What do you say :-) I would love to hear from you!


© Except image in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Parde me rahene do....parda na uthao :-)

Vodafone ka puppy.... ALWAYS happy to help!

[vodafone.JPG]
  • If you want to have an affair, ensure your better half does not have a faithful pet.
  • If your better half loves pet, better you be faithful :)
LOL...I still can't stop laughing! :D

© Except image in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Din hai suhana (?) aaj 17 august hai…

16th August ‘09

11.00pm : I am feeling uneasy, restless and sad. I don’t know why :(
11.40pm : I am still feeling the same. I log off from the Internet. I am not sleepy at all. I will watch TV now.

17th August ‘09

12.00am : Couple of short phone calls.
1.15am : Switched off TV. I will try to sleep.
1.30am : Still restless :-|. Switched on laptop. Go online.
1.45am : Switched off laptop. I will surely sleep now.
7.39am : Something is ringing. Is it a dream? After a while, I realized it’s my phone.
Hmm..I am feeling feverish. I can feel body temperature higher than normal. Oh boy even throat is paining. Phew! Looks like Mr. Fever has caught me again :-(
7.45am : Get up dude! Leave the bed.
8.45am : Couple of quick phone calls. I am still sleepy. May be tired.
9.15am : I am going online to find out symptoms of swine flu. Phew – sore throat is listed as one of the symptoms.
9.30am : Should I go to the office? There are couples of meetings to attend. Hmm… Let me go and come back early.
10.15am : Leave for the office. I am surely not feeling well.
11.00am : Reached office. I realize my manager is not coming to work and meeting is cancelled. I will quickly check with my project team about few pending tasks.
11.30am : Left office.
12.00pm : Reached home.
12.10pm : Calling Apollo Hospital. I don’t want to take any chance! The operator said she will check and confirm the appointment.
12.20pm : A call from Apollo Hospital. I have an appointment at 1pm.
1.00pm : Meet the doctor. Thankfully, it’s just normal viral infection and nothing to worry :-). Buy medicine and come home.
2.00pm : Reached home. I will cook. I don’t want to eat out.
2.30pm : Lunch. Followed by medicine as dessert.
3.00pm : Oh! Power gone :-(. Huh. It will be restored only after an hour. I am on bed doing nothing. Thankfully, I fell asleep.
4.15pm : Wake up! Power is back. I am going online. Browsing here and there.
5.30pm : I will watch TV now. Tuning to Nat Geo for an episode of hijacking of an Air France aircraft. Pretty interesting.
6.00pm : It started raining! Wow! Welcome relief! :-)
7.00pm : It’s still raining. I am still watching TV. I don’t want to do anything this evening except being at home, watching TV and resting.
8.30pm : It’s still raining. I am watching “Tarak Mehta Ka Ulta Chashma”. If you are a Gujarati, you may know that Tarak Mehta used to write (and still writing) his weekly column called “Duniya ne Ulta Chashma”. This serial is just picturization of that column. We knew all these characters since last few decades!
8.34pm : Writing this blog entry.
9.00pm : Thankfully, I am feeling better. Though throat is paining a little and body is still tired, thankfully nothing to worry.
9.10pm : I will upload this blog entry.

Don’t know what will I do from now till midnight.

P.S. : 17th August is my birthday.

© All rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Janani Janmabhoomischa Swargadapi Gariyasi...

After defeating Ravan in the war, Vibheeshan requested Ram and Laxman to visit Lanka.

Ram and Laxman were absolutely struck by the beauty of Lanka. The ponds were crystal clear and the way to get into was studded with diamonds and precious stones. The buildings were of fine architecture and the roads were very neat.

Ram was spell bound and was getting attracted to the beauty of Lanka. But he refrained himself from further seeing the beauty of Lanka by saying

"API SWARNAMAYI LANKA NA MAY LAKSHMANA ROCHATHI JANANI JANMABHOOMISCHA SWARGADAPI GARIYASI"

Which translates to - "Dear LAXMAN, may be Lanka is truly Golden and resembles heaven but the mother and the motherland are more sacred than heaven”.



Wishing “
A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY” to our beloved 62 year old mom.

She may not be the most beautiful. She may not be the wealthiest. She may not be the strongest. But she is my mom and I love her.

I wish and pray all her children will pay due attention and respect to her. Not just on her birthday but also for the rest of 364 days in a year.

Wishing you all - A VERY HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!

Vande Mataram.


© All rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

HAHAHAHAHAHA…..

LOL! Here comes another email which I received today. I have read this earlier but still I couldn’t stop laughing! In fact every time I read, I LAUGH!

Enjoy the collection!


Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer
: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."



Lawyer
: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."



Lawyer
: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."



Witness
: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"



Lawyer
: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"



Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
Witness: "Not yet."
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."



Lawyer
: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

Monday, August 10, 2009

Nahiiiiiii.... kahe do ki ye jooth hai...

Here is a forwarded email I had received and I can’t hold temptation to share it with you! I don’t know who wrote this email and hence I can’t publish name of the author. However I want to thank “Mr. Anonymous“ for writing this wonderful piece!

If you are in IT, you will relate with this so instantly!

I have reproduced this email as it is (except changing from “u” to “you” and removing company name mentioned in the original email).

Enjoy!


After lots of meet ups with my non-IT friends, relatives, strangers, rickshaw wallahs, etc etc, I noticed that the moment you say that you are an IT guy, they have already made some assumptions about you.

Myth #1 : If you are not in the four biggies ...you are a loser
Auntyji :"Beta, kaunsa tent?"
Me : "Persistent! Aunty I work in Persistent."
Aunty :"Tumko Info*** mein nahi mila kya?" (in short: "tum second grade gadhe lagte ho")

Then I have to make efforts to tell them how I actually work for a much better company. Phew!


Myth #2: If you havent been onsite ...you are a loser
Uncle : "Tum do saal se IT company mein kaam kar rahe ho na?"
Me : (tighening my collar..Head high) "Haan uncle ....bas ..."
Uncle : "Tum videsh nahi gaye?"
Me : "Nahi uncle project mein requirement nahi hai onsite kaa"
Uncle : "Lekin woh bunty ko toh maanna padegaa.... engg mein 2nd class milaa...fir bhi usne jamke mehnat ki aur usse company ne USA bheja!"

Aaaha! That’s the problem. People think that only the smarty pants are sent on site while the loser ones are the people left behind in India. So the assumption is that if you haven't been on site then you don't work hard nor you have any sincerity and… ok that's enough for now.



Myth #3: You can fix any computer…and calculator and may be clocks too
Most of the computer engineers around must have at least once gone to a friend's place only to fix his /her comp. The task can be from installing a software (next..next.. finish) to fixing a computer which gives electric shocks when its metal areas are touched.



Myth #4: You have lots of money
Once I met up with my friends from school..From various fields. I just mentioned that it is such a pain to go to office nowadays and said that I wanted to buy a car.

Friend1: "What problem do you have man. You are an IT waala"
Friend2: "Tu toh Honda CRV le saktaa hai"
Me: "CRV!! aabey CRV kyaa mere pass VCR lene ka paisa nahi hai"
Even after 5 minutes of convincing them, they were not convinced.



Myth #5: Coding means sitting in front of the computer
During my college days , my classmate had an encounter with a guy from mechanical dept:

Mech guy: "Your Computer engineering is a big nautanki.... four years, you learn the same grey dabba... and all you ppl do is sit nicely in front of that dabba and punch the keys"

Well I don’t completely disagree


Myth #6: One more thing which oldies say: “Now you work in such a big company, you are settled, you should marry now!! “ OMG this salary is not enough for one poor soul, how to handle two???



Myth #7: In Diwali…you get questions like……”Are you going to get a bonus this Diwali…..??” And when we reply in the negative…..they seem so surprised…!!!!!!!


Myth #8: A common issue that I have seen:

When I tell anybody that I work with XYZ Company, many times I get a reply “My son/daughter/relative Mr/Ms XXX also works with XYZ. You must be knowing him/her” and if I answer in negative, they feel disappointed (sometimes even angry with me).

How to explain to them that there are around 1,00,000 employees in my company! Phew!



P.S.: So true! Being in IT, I can relate with most of these scenarios!

How about you?

  1. If you are in IT, have you faced similar situations?
  2. If you are not in IT, do you think we are second grade gadha ? :-)

Pour in your thoughts!

Friday, August 7, 2009

F5

It’s an addiction.

Yeah. F5 is an addiction (Nah it's not a spelling mistake and I am not even remotely referencing F1 GP)




I am talking about that cute little key which you have on your keyboard. This is the key I press the most! It’s such a “refreshing” key :) After all, anything and everything can be refreshed just by just pressing F5!

And this “refreshing” addiction has reached to a stage that when last time display on my TV was stuck; I was frantically searching for “F5” on my remote control!

Laugh yaar :-)

Alright. Now it’s time to “refresh” this blog! A new image (but you can’t get away from my face though :P), new colors and of course some new widgets :-)

Wish if life can be refreshed with such ease!!

I will be waiting for you “refreshing” feedback :-)

© Except image in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Pinch Me Pleeeeeeeeeeeez!

I was angry. Then pissed off. Then frustrated.

Now I have reached Nirvana (except occasional frustration).

I am talking about traffic in Hyderabad. If you have spent some time in Hyderabad, then you would know what I mean.

But then traffic is bad everywhere. What’s big deal? (Oh now I am smart enough to guess your question :))

Aare hero, you have fever and your neighbor has cancer. Both of you are sick. Can you compare your sickness with him? There is a vast difference in magnitude and severity between fever and cancer.

If you are smart (and I know you will agree to that :)), by now you would have realized why I gifted cancer to your neighbor – to explain you the gravity of traffic problem between your city and Hyderabad. Your city has fever and Hyderabad has cancer.

It’s not just about roads; it’s about traffic (non)sense. (Talking about roads, my morning travel is filled with tossing up in the air and crashing back on my seat – I get around 40 bumps while traveling 8km in morning – and tomorrow I have planned to count number of bump / jerks I receive. So stay tuned for the update!).

I have NEVER EVER seen such hopeless and helpless traffic police in my life!I have NEVER EVER seen so many people driving in the wrong side! Sometimes I get confused to decide which the right side is! (okay this last line is exaggeration but I want you to get my point that it’s frustrating :()

It’s routine for me to have people honking behind me while I am walking on the road. These are the folks driving in the wrong side. And yes, they honk to force you to make a way for them… After all, it’s their birth right!

So tonight, while I was coming back from the work, I got down from the cab. I was walking on the road and all sudden – phew – yeah this bulky guy driving a macho bike was driving in a direction which was warranting a collision with me – and yeah, no prize for guessing, driving in the wrong side :)

This Mr. Bulky had to balance between vehicles on one side and pedestrians on the other side. After a little bit of maneuver, he passed just couple of inches away from me..

S O R R Y…

Freeze!
Ding dong.
What? Did I really hear the word “SORRY”??
Oh my my!
I can’t believe this! I want to confirm that it’s not a dream!
PINCH ME PLEASE!!

Oh Yeah! First time in last 4 years at Hyderabad, I heard someone saying sorry while driving in the wrong side!

I was sooooooooo happy that I went to the nearest mithai shop and had a bundi laddu to celebrate this occasion :)

P.S. : I was walking towards the mithai shop as my dad had asked me to have some sweets on the occasion of Raksha Bandhan. “Mr. Sorry” gave me one more reason to celebrate my day :-)

© All rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Kya aap naya close up karte haaaainnnnnnnnnn…

Trust me. When I wrote very first post, I wasn’t sure if there would be anyone to read it! I remember how curiously I used to look at the visitors counter to see if it's increasing :)

Nowdays every time I share a link pointing to my new post, I observe that visitors count is creased by at least 100 – 150 due to people like you. Now I am curious! I mean I am really curious! After all I want to know who all visit my blog!

From my blog statistics, all I know is I have 14 people following my blog (if you wonder why number dispalyed is 15 in following image, then you need to exclude me from the list :) When I started writing blog, I didn’t know concept of a follower and hence I registered as a follower to understand make my concept clear :D).

However, as far as visitors are concerned, I can see them coming from around the globe!

clip_image001

Thank YOU!! Oh why?………Well as you are reading this line, you are one of those few who lands on my blog :). Now I need just 1 minute of your time to end my curiosity! Aare baba I know you are super busy par 1 minute to chalta hai yaar…

What you need to do? It’s very simple! All I want from you is - 1, 2 and 3!

1) Click on “comments” link at the bottom of this post.

clip_image002

2) A new window will appear. Write your name and city :).

3) Click on “Publish Your Comment” button.

BINGO! We are done!

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Oh yeah don’t try to find any meaning in the title of this post… Even I don’t use close up and I am really not interested in knowing which toothpaste you use :D… All I am interested in knowing is –

Kya aap mera blog padhte haaaainnnnnnnnnn… :-)

Keep reading!

© Except image in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

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