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Tuesday, December 22, 2009



LOVE: Lots of thoughts in mind but no guts to express
EXAMS: Lots of guts to express but no thoughts in mind :)


What is the height of Flirting?
When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN". :)


GIRL - Jaan mujhey aise propose karo jaise kisi ne na kiya ho.
BOY(slapped her, and said) - "Kamini, I love you, mujhsay shaadi karke mujhey tabah kar de"


After robbing the Bank, robber to a clerk: Did you see me robbing?
CLERK : Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked the next clerk: Did you?
SECOND CLERK : No, But my wife saw you! :)


Banta baar me ro raha tha.
TENDER : Kyo ro rahe ho?
BANTA : Aur kya karu?? Jis ladki ko bhulana chahta hun, uska naam hi yaad nahi aa raha. :)


BOY : Ae bewafa tune mera dil jala diya, Dil jalke rakh ho gaya .
GIRL : Teri kurbani barbad nahi jayegi, raakh idhar bhej de bartan dhone ke kaam ayegi.....! :) :)

A BOY said to a girl: Come into my heart...
GIRL said: sandal nikalu kiya?
BOY said: hatt pagli , mera dil mandir thodhi na hai sandal pehenke hi aa jao :)




BOY to girl : Tu hi to jannat meri,Tu hi mera junon or kuch na janu ,mein bas itna hi janu….Tujme RAB dikhta hai YARA mae kya kru??
Girl: Mattha tek or dafaa ho.


So which one you liked the most!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mera Bharat Pareshan...

Let’s test your grey cells :)

What is more important?

To settle dispute between two brothers fighting over an agreement which eventually is going to decide, who will get richer and who will get poorer?


To bring someone to justice, who is desperately trying to divide and disintegrate the nation?

Use your sense, common sense or whatever you have right above your neck.

Done? Now let's find out the answer.

In India, to settle dispute between two warring brothers is having lot more priority than to protect national integrity and to save our national from being taken for a ride.

Don’t trust me? Read on...

Mukesh Ambani and Anil Ambani are fighting over an MoU signed between them deciding pricing of the gas, which Mukesh is going to sell to Anil. The case is being fought in the Supreme Court, the highest court in India and they had / have almost daily elaborated hearing in the Supreme Court.

On the other hand, we have Raj Thakre – I don’t think there is any need to write about what he has done and is doing to this nation. Someone who is hell bend upon destroying integrity of India’s truly cosmopolitan face – Mumbai.

Congress, without any doubt, is hand in glove with Raj Thakre. After all, it’s helping Congress to kill Shiv Sena without any effort! That’s why Congress government in Maharashtra has been so soft on Raj Thakre that despite spitting venom – day in day out, he is virtually roaming scot free, even till date.

Now today while browsing Internet, I read an interesting headline : “Charge sheet filed against Raj Thackeray for assaulting North Indians”. I felt DAMN happy that at least, at last, he will face the court.

However, my happiness lasted for less then 40 seconds. While reading the story, here came the shocker : “......After handing over copies of the charge sheet to the accused, the magistrate fixed September 13, 2010 as the next date of hearing in the case

CRAP! Bummer!!

Did you read? The next hearing is on September 13, 2010!!

Yes, our court does not have time to hear a case which has direct impact on India’s integrity. Even though its risking image of Mumbai, which has been a truly cosmopolitan city – until one fine day, Raj Thakre got brahma gyan about using Marathi manoos for his personal gain.

Yeah but meanwhile, our supreme court will be very busy to decide which brother should get richer and which one should get poorer.

Is that a bloody joke???????

©All rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Dhoom Pichak Dhoom...

Ganga Maiya.

Just two words.

However, what all these two words carry? Well, it carries history of thousands of years and faith of millions of Hindus across the globe… As per Hindu belief, a dip in Ganga and you can get rid of all your sins!

BTW, it’s not Ganges. It’s Ganga. By any means, Ganga is not a difficult world to pronounce. Whenever I read the word “Ganges”, it feels like a derogatory term to describe Ganga Maiya. It’s still okay if foreigners use that word. However, I am pissed off when Indian writers use that word for the articles which are meant for Indian newspapers. Come on! We all know and love the word Ganga. So stop Ganges and let Ganga flow!

To meet Ganga Maiya, I am visiting to the oldest city on this earth – Varanasi.

Varanasi is the oldest city on this earth. Here is what Mark Twain mentioned about Varanasi (also known as Benares) : "Benares is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together."

As per Hindu belief, Varanasi is the center of the universe. It will be a great combination to be at Varanasi and to see, feel, touch water of Ganga. I know it may be dirty at places but still, as we all know, Ganga has a very special place in our heart.

So starting from Saturday (5th November) , I will be in Varanasi for 3 days :). It will be my first real experience to see life of Uttar Pradesh. I will also visit Sarnath, which is just 10km away from Varanasi. Sarnath is sacred place for Buddhist.

After that, I will spend one day at Ayodhya visiting all the historical places which we know through Ramayana.

WOW! The traveler in me is very excited!

Apart from the history, how can I forget yummy Samosa, Kachori, Jalebi, Rabadi and lot more that I will get at Uttar Pradesh! I am going to hog that for sure :)

It’s 4.40pm on Thursday evening. I will leave in next half an hour.

Here is the travel plan
  • Hyderabad to Warangal by train – 3 hours
  • Warangal to Varanasi by train – 30 hours!
  • (Spend 2 days at Varanasi and 1 day at Sarnath)
  • Varanasi to Ayodhya by train – 3 hours
  • (Spend 1 day at Ayodhya)
  • Ayodhya to Delhi by train – 12 hours
  • Delhi to Hyderabad by flight 2 - hours
Will keep you posted through Facebook.


P.S. : If you are wondering about the title of this post, then let me throw some light :-) Euphoria band came to limelight with their debut album - dhoom and the main track - dhoom pichak dhoom was shot at Varanasi, on the various ghats on the bank of river Ganga :)

©All rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

31st October...

I love India. You love India. We love India.

However when yours and mine grandfathers were born, there was no India. There were 550+ states with 550+kings having their own identify, boundaries, flag, railway line and even currency.

Then who brought these kingdoms under one umbrella and gave us identity as a nation?
Well, we owe our existence as a nation to one man – whom most of us have forgotten. He was a true nationalist. However, he is sidelined and marginalized consistently.

  • Because he cared more for the nation than his own personal image.
  • Because he was more interested in building a nation rather than flirting with a viceroy’s wife.
  • Because he dedicated his time to solve country’s problem rather than flying pigeons.
  • Because he didn’t have Gandhi / Nehru as his last name.
If you still couldn’t make out who I am talking about, then it’s not your fault. It’s bound to be when he is neglected outright – by his own party, by print and visual media, by those who write history books for schools.

31 October 1875
This is a very important milestone in Indian history. The architect of modern India was born on this day. Yes, I am talking about none other than THE IRON MAN of INDIA - Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel.

31 October 2009
It’s Saturday in INDIA. Very same INDIA that was brought to existence by Sardar Patel. I am in front of TV most of the time as it's Saturday. I see all the channels are going ga – ga over Mrs. Indira Gandhi, who had died on 31 October 1984. As if there is a competition (to please a particular party/clan), channels are going berserk to outdo each other by bombarding programs about her life, her great(?) work, her assassination, various interviews of her associates and what not!

However, not a single channel dedicated even 5 minutes for the great man, who was born on very same day. And because of whom, we got our identity as a nation.

Shame on them. Shame on us.

As an Indian who still loves his country, I pay my sincere respect and express gratitude towards this great man. Hats off to you. If you had been the first Prime Minister of India, we would have been a very different (read BETTER”) nation.

A nation, a generation who cannot recognize and respect those who dedicated their lives for them, is surely on the path of self destruction.

I rest my case.

© Except picture in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Deepavali - Lights, sweets, crackers and wishes

May the joy, cheer, mirth and merriment of this divine festival surround you forever.

May the happiness, that this season brings brighten your life and hope the year brings you luck and fulfills all your dearest dreams!

Happy Deepavali…

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती...

लहरों से डरकर नौका पार नहीं होती

हिम्मत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

नन्ही चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,

चढ़ती दीवारों पर सौ बार फिसलती है,

मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,

चढ़कर गिरना,गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है,

आखिर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती ,

कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा-जाकर खाली हाथ लौट आता है,
मिलते न सहेज के मोती पानी में,
बहता दूना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में,
मुठ्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
हिम्मत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

असफलता एक चुनौती है स्वीकार करो,
क्या कमी रह गयी,देखो और सुधार करो,
जब तक न सफल हो नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्षों का मैदान छोड़ मत भागो तुम,
कुछ किये बिना ही जय-जयकार नहीं होती,
हिम्मत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती...

-- Harivanshrai Bachhan

Monday, October 12, 2009

Go To HELL...

How does it sound if you are caught red handed while copying in examination hall, you are presented in front of school principal and you sayyou don’t have faith in principal?

What if you are caught in a sexual harassment act (red handed!) and when reported to HR of your company, you sayyou don’t have any faith in HR system?

Now don’t take it personal. I know you didn’t copy in your school and you are not involved in any sexual harassment case.

However, something even more surprising is coming out from the drama being conducted at Bombay High Court where Ajmal Kasab is being procecuted.

After killing 3 senior officers, after killing hundreds of common men like you and me, after spraying bullet on innocent lives walking on the road, after holding entire nation on ransom for 3 days, after conducting one of the most gruesome terror attack ever in this nation, after Mr. Kasab Ajmal made an astonishing statementThat he does not have any faith in Indian judiciary. He wants his case to be transferred to an international court.

Taken from Rediff.com on 12 October 2009

I have no faith in Indian court, says Kasab

http://im.rediff.com/news/2009/oct/12kasab.jpg After facing trial in the Mumbai attack case for nearly six months, the lone surviving Pakistani gunman Ajmal Kasab on Monday said he had 'no faith' in Indian court and made a dramatic plea for transfer of the case to an international court.

But Judge M L Tahaliyani rejected 22-year-old Kasab's plea saying, "It is misconceived."

"I have no faith in Indian court and this case may be transferred to an International court," Kasab said in an application to the court. He had moved the application written in his own hand in Urdu. The application was filed through jail authorities who translated it into Marathi and produced before the court... Read complete article here…

Now I am at loss of words. Hmmm…combined with loss of expression. Or say, I have too many expressions that I can’t decide which one to bring out.

We know we have this judiciary system in place which we should follow to bring anyone to justice. But isn’t it going too far? Isn't it competing with Ekta Kapoor's drama cum farce? Should such plea even be allowed to come for hearing in court?

Mr. Ajmal Kasab – if you do not have faith in Indian judiciary, then you should have committed your crime in a country, where you have faith in their Judiciary. May be Afghanistan?

Go to hell Mr. Kasab. I am sure you will have faith in judiciary system being followed in hell. At least nobody will entertain your plea there.


What do you say?

© Except picture and excerpt from Rediff.com, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Is raat ki subah nahi...

With all due respect for the post (and not for the person), I believe you and I work lot more and are little smarter than President of India.


  • What if someone barges inside your house and tries to kill you? If you are brave enough to catch him alive, what will be your next step?
  • You are working on bunch of tasks. If you get one more task which is lot more important, what will you do?

Think about it. What will be your answer? Now, if you are President of India, this is precisely what you will do –

  • What if someone barges inside your house and tries to kill you? If you are brave enough to catch him alive, what will be your next step?
    You will catch that person and lock him in your bathroom for years. The guy will ask for mercy. You will spend next few years deciding what you should do next...

  • You are working on bunch of tasks. If you get one more task which is lot more important, what will you do?
    You will wait for all the pending tasks to be completed before looking into the new task...

Do not agree? Read on...

Mohammad Afzal, also known as Afzal Guru, was convicted of conspiracy in the December 2001 attack on the Indian Parliament and was sentenced to death by the Supreme Court of India in 2004.

As expected, he sent a mercy petition to our “
busy” President.

Now our President is so damn busy with other “
important” tasks that President doesn’t have time to decide fate of this case. After all, our President is responsible for so many highly important things!

Don’t believe me?
Here are examples :
To stroll in mughal garden inside Rashtrapati Bhavan...to travel different countries...to pay occasional tributes to departed useless politicians...to read out government’s praise in their customary address to the nation on the eve of republic day...to sign bills and to dismiss state governments as per wish of the ruling party...And yeah, to enjoy lavish vacations at reserved bungalows

Compare to all these important tasks, Afzal Guru’s fate is such a small and unimportant matter. After all, he was part of one of the most gruesome terror attack to destabilize our nation. Huh… such a small and routine crime!

Ajmal Kasab, don't worry. You have many more years of life in front of you even if you are handed over death penalty. After all, your mercy petition will follow 28 others for which our "busy" President is yet to take a final call.

It’s been years since Afzal Guru's mercy petition is left undecided (
for the reasons, which are very easy to guess if you are willing to use your brain). And instead of expediting this matter, our law minister is busy teaching us why this petition cannot be addressed on priority basis : There are other 28 mercy petitions pending in front of the President and only after those petitions are addressed, Afazal Guru’s turn will come.

A peon, a CEO, an engineer, a scientist or even a criminal… almost every professional knows how to prioritize their work. Sad – looks like what you and I know, our president doesn’t.

Is there anyone who can teach our law minister and President how to prioritize tasks? Can you?

P.S. : To all terrorist - In India, a common man's life has no value. So you are free to kill as many Indians as you want. However, every terrorist's life is very very precious and hence, we take years and years to decide if we should kill someone, who has killed hundred innocent fellow Indians. So even if you are caught alive, India guarantees you years and years of life in advance.

Mera Bharat Mahan (?)

© Except picture in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Did you ever face DEATH???

How will you react if you face DEATH??? What will be your through process? How will you try to protect yourself? What kind of decision will you take?

Read this article which is published in "The Hindu" on 11th September 2009. It's little long but it's by far the best account of Mumbai's terror attack. I could "feel" it while reading...

(These photo is taken from CCTV footage obtained by NDTV showing gun-toting terrorists in the corridor of the Taj Hotel in Mumbai on November 26, 2008.)

Three ways of dying lay before the occupant of room 632 at the Taj Mahal Palace and Tower on November 26, 2008. One, jump out of the window of the fifth floor. Two, stay in the room and be charred to death. Three, walk down the Taj and face the bullets of the terrorist.

A senior citizen, staying in room 632, told the court in a stunning testimony on Thursday, that he chose the third option. "It would have been an instant death," he reasoned.

His name and address cannot be revealed for security reasons as per the court's order.

The witness who held a top position in the banking sector, had come to Mumbai on 26/11 for a board meeting. He was put up at the Taj. At 10.15 p.m. he received a call from the hotel's room service.

"There is an emergency at the hotel. Please take care," a voice said and hung up. When the witness switched on the television in his room, he learnt of the terror strike at various places including the Taj. Half an hour later, the cable connection went off. At about 11.15 p.m. there was a knock on the door. A voice from outside said "Room service, room service."

Anxious, restless and suspicious, the witness did not open the door. However, he heard someone fire at the door and open it forcibly. "Two gentlemen entered," the witness told the court.

"You still describe them as gentlemen?" judge M. L. Tahaliyani asked.

When the witness said yes, the judge remarked it was his goodness. One of the two pointed a gun to his temple and ordered him to keep quiet. The other delivered a blow on his neck. Then they dragged him outside and instructed him to knock on other doors. The witness said he did as told, but there was no response .

Pushed back into his room, the assailants then asked him to take off his kurta and pyjama. When the hostage was hesitant they hit him. They tied his hands and legs with his clothes and pinned him to the ground face downwards.

"One of the gentlemen, who was hefty and wearing a red T-shirt and big shoes started kicking me. I was crying and told them I had blood pressure."

"Kidhar se aya? [Where have you come from?]," one asked while removing some weapons from a bag. After this they were in constant communication with someone on a mobile phone and gave a bit by bit account of the interrogation that followed.

The witness said the conversation was in Hindi, which he could understand. "They said Salam Alaikum. It was a polite language."

Snatches of phone conversation were heard from the corridor. In the next half an hour four staff members of the hotel were brought in as hostages. Two more terrorists also entered. One of the terrorists had a limp, the witness said.

The attackers asked him his name and the place he hailed from and subsequently conveyed it on the phone. When asked about the profession, the hostage lied and said he was a teacher. This too was told on the phone. This reply made the attackers furious. While at first they had accepted it, later they started hitting the hostage.

"How can a teacher with Rs. 20,000 salary stay at the Taj? Are you a smuggler? Are you teaching people to kill Muslims?... Are you from Chennai? Are you an architect? A scientist?" they asked later . The hostage replied in the negative.

The witness told the court that the terrorists saw his sacred thread and confirmed on the phone that he was a Brahmin. He said they tied his hands with the sacred thread. The attackers also said on the phone that the hostage was fat and bald.

Meanwhile, the other hostages were also bound and put on the floor, and were similarly interrogated . At about 2.15, the four terrorists took the five hostages including the witness, to room 520 on the fifth floor. About 45 minutes later a powerful blast was heard. The other hostages got up and started shouting, "We are dying." At this point, the terrorists went out of the room. The witness said he was able to crawl towards the bed and free his hands. "Since my hands were tied with the thread, my wrists were bleeding."

Knowing that the hotel kept a business kit on the table, he groped in the dark and fished out a pair of scissors from it. With it he was able to free himself and the other hostages as well.

The staff then took the metal wastebasket in the room and broke the window. Fresh air rushed in as the room was facing the poolside. Now all the five could see each other clearly. They learnt each others' names.

Two of the staff members jumped out of the window and sat on the landing. Using the curtains and bed linen in the room the hostages made a rope and all the four staff members went down to the first floor landing.

The witness said he chose to stay in the room as he could see the others were still figuring a way to get out. He kept shouting to them not to leave him and they shouted back but they could not hear him.

Finally, they made their way out. With a metal rod, they tried to reach out to this hostage in the room, but the attempt failed. That's when the hostage considered the above three options to die. He could not go down the rope. The fire on the rooftop was raging, and metal pieces were falling, making the room unsafe. The hostage decided to go out. Since he was not completely dressed, modesty did not permit him to move out in that condition. Once again, groping in the dark "like a blind man," he found a pair of pyjamas and a T-shirt.

The corridors were dark and covered in thick smoke. The hostage saw a staircase and must have climbed down three flights. He suddenly spotted a bright light. It was coming from a room. In the lit room, he saw the window was open.

The 69-year old witness said he jumped on the landing, having got some experience while doing so on the fifth floor. Fire brigade rescue operations had started by then. He called out to them.

It was six in the morning when the hostage finally came out of the hotel. Some Good Samaritans offered him a lift in their car. However, the hostage feeling an acute pain got himself admitted to a hospital and was discharged after treatment in three hours.

The witness said he identified the bodies of two terrorists in the identification parade. He said the attacker with a limp had interrogated him.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Victoria's secret :-)

Do you know this? I am sure you don't (and not sure if it's even worth knowing!)
But I am sure you will still read this post :)

Queen Victoria’s underwear is British national heritage
INNER TRUTH: Queen Victoria's super sized knickers measuring a huge 52 inches around the waist have been bought back into the royal collection for 600 pounds at an auction in London. The linen drawers were hidden in a private collection for 100 years.

Excerpt and picture taken from :

The Times of India (Hyderabad Edition)
9th September 2009

Page 17

LOL! What all you find in newspaper! :D

© Except picture and excerpt in this post (taken from the times of India), all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

If Columbus had been married...

If Columbus had been married he might have never discovered America.

Where are you going ?

With whom ?

To discover what ?

Why only you ?

What do I do, when you are not here ?

Can I come ?

Coming back when ?

Dinner ghar par hee khaoge ?

Most importantly -  What will you bring for me ?
(LOL! Do you agree ?)

001.jpg image by Cheeriotown

Monday, September 7, 2009

Title ko chhodo....post ko padho :-)

WIFE: 'What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!

: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'

: 'Of course I do.

: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?

: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'

: 'You would?'

: .......?

: 'Would you live in our house?'

: 'Sure, it's a great house.'

: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'

: 'Where else would we sleep?'

: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

: 'Probably, it is almost new.'

: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'

: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'

: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'

: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'

: 'Would she wear my shoes?'

: 'No, her size
is 6.'

: -- silence --

: 'shit....."

Rest is history.

001.jpg image by Cheeriotown

(P.S. : This is a forwarded email. I just couldn't resist sharing it with you!)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dil Titli… But Ad is Chipkali...

UfffffffLet me first mute this TV.
In 1990, I would need to walk to the TV just to mute it. Thank god in 2009, I can mute it while lazily resting on my bed :-) And yeah I need to use this feature quite often.
But why?
Well.. Let’s see if you remember this ad which used to come years and years ago… Where an executive is desperately trying to explain his boss his latest business plan inside an elevator? Hmm.. Boss doesn't react after hearing the plan and left... and while our hero is frustrated and walking alone in rain, his boss "calls" up… and he agrees to his planand our hero jumps and punches in the air with super joy!
Or remember that advertisement where an amazing tune is rendered by A R Rehman? He starts that tune on mouth organ just to make a little boy smile… That tune almost became national anthem!!
And remember that advertisement where two boys play football across the barbwires? This ad starts with tense environment featuring barbwires… and within few seconds, that amazing tune from Rehman and two cute little kids will win your heart…

I love watching Airtel ads. Let me correct – I used to love watching Airtel ads.
Not now. Or I should say not at least the latest one.
Dil titli.... it’s an amazing tune! Very sweet! It continues Airtel’s tradition of rendering amazing tunes.. one after another.
But the moment I "see" this ad, it makes me turn off. Come on! You cannot have such sadi si theme with such a lovely tune. I mean Saif changes his color just like a chipkali..!! The end is also as disgusting as chipkali... Alright.. Entire world knows that Saif and Kareen is a couple in real life… But why the hell they need to craft such an end?? WTF.

Though the tune is lovely, it still gives me gloomy feeling because it’s part of this tasteless ad. That’s the reason why I change channel or just put TV on mute the moment this ad starts... It’s really not in good taste. At least I don’t find it tasty.
Dear Airtel – You have given us some lovely dovely ads in past. You have rendered some really melodious tunes. After this ad, please give us something which we would not just love to hear, but also love to watch.
Till then, let my TV remain on mute for Airtel.
P.S. : Just read my friend's blog and found this beautiful Airtel ad. This is what we love Airtel for!

© Except videos in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Kahani Raaka, Shaka, Reshma aur Bijli ki…

Raaka : Aged looking Dharmendra wearing a cowboy cap and romancing Anita Raj.

Shaka : A fugitive being chased by police.. Evergreen goonda cum hero Shatrughan Sinha (It’s easy to visualize him as a rowdy or a fugitive than a gentleman or a high profile industrialist! Try once :-))

Reshma : Shaka (Shatrughan Sinha) ki bahen. To make it simpler, Reshma bole to overacting ki maa; who screams every dialogue and jerks / shakes her face before every single sentence!

Jeene Nahi Doonga

Bijli : Raaka (Dharmendra) ka love interest. I wonder why she needs to love such an aged cowboy! Phew. Poor lady.

: Yeah there is one more character named Badal with weird colored hairdo. He is Raj Babbar. GRRRRRRRR… Come on.. Raj babbar as a hero? Okay he is a good actor but Hero? To accept Raj Babbar as a hero is as difficult as accepting Rakhi sawant in sister's role or Nirupa Roy as a rich woman :D

But who are they???

Well, these characters are from 1984 flick called "Jeene Nahi Doonga". Wah wah kya naam hai! Aisi movie dekhne ke baad kaun zinda rahena chahega :-D

So last night while I was randomly browsing channels, I got a golden chance to watch this movie for a while.

Now watching a Hindi movie is like playing a game of prediction. Especially movies made from'70 to '90.

And trust me, 99% you will have the right guess! Funny...We all know what’s going to happen and yet, we all watch it :)

Don’t trust me? Here are some examples!

  • If there is an honest police officer (who is not a hero), then he has to die within 10 minutes of his appearance and he will surely leave behind -
    a. Pregnant wife OR
    b. Poor wife and 2 sons… These 10 and 8 year old sons will be so mature that they make Confucius look like a dumb ass.

  • Kulbhushan Kharbanda has to die as an honest middle class man or a factory worker wearing blue color uniform throughout the movie.
  • If Ranjeet is in the star cast, there has to be a rape scene!
    a. If Ranjeet is trying to rape our heroine, she will be saved just in time by brave hero.
    b. If Ranjeet is trying to rape hero’s sister or a poor girl from a basti, then Ranjeet will be successful.
  • If Johnny lever is in a movie, there will be hammering. If Shah Rukh khan is in a movie, there will be stammering.
  • While spending his entire life to take revenge, when hero captures a villain, he will say – “main tumhe itni aasani se nahi maroonga….tadpa tadpa ke maroonga….” (Aare yaar villain ko maar aur movie khatam kar… tere tadapane ke chakkar me dekhne walo ki jaan chali jayegi re)
  • If Helen / Aruna Irani is in a movie, there has to be a cabaret.
  • If an honest police officer / journalist finds evidence (video tape / document / CD) against a villain, he/she will make it a point to tell the villain in front of 100 other goons. This scene will be followed by -
    a. Honest police officer being killed OR
    b. Our brave journalist being chased and killed by goons

  • If a hero stays in a basti, there will be a villain cum builder who wants to build a shopping complex there!
  • A hero/heroine can easily disguise by coloring hair or sticking fake moustache or by changing attire to become a sadhu or banjara. In either case, either they will sing a bhajan or raunchy number in front of the villain and his gang and a police officer (and bunch of hawaldars). (How can you disguise like that? I mean with his unbalanced body movement, Dev Anand can’t hide even in a burkha! )
  • If our hero is poor, heroine has to be a spoilt brat of a rich dad. Vice versa is also true.
  • An ordinary hero can easily fight against 10 -20 goondas. Sunny Deol can beat 50 goondas. Rajnikanth can demolish an army.
  • A hero will fight against 10 / 20 / 50 goondas and beat them up; goondas are so disciplined that they will attack our hero one after another… Someone need to teach them the word calledTeam work”!
  • Warning : A song in a Hindi movie is like a ghost. It can pop up anytime and it will always pop up when least expected. (Sometimes, both of them are equal scary!)
  • If it’s a Jeetendra movie, there has to be bunch of earthen pots lined up (and minor blasts in background splashing various colors in all directions) while he shakes his booty more vigorously than Sridevi.
  • A village name must be Rampur or Ramgarh or some name followed by “pur” or “garh”.
  • If there is a Thakur in a movie, then either he will be worshiped like a god in his village or he will be an extremely cruel character.
    a. If he is worshipped, then his younger brother or son has to be a cruel character.
    b. If Thakur is cruel, then our hero has to be 1) a poor man from basti or 2) a recently posted police officer in that area, who refuses to bow down against Thakur.

And yeah, if hero is a recently posted police officer, there has to be a scene where Thakur (or his sidekick) tries to buy him and our honest hero refuses followed by Thakur threatening him by stating examples of what happened to such police officers in the past…

Phew! I am sure you can add lot and lot to this list!

By the way, I want to see a “dream movie”. My dream movie is a one in which -

  • Heroine shakes her booty more than Jeetendra
  • A K Hungal is a cruel Thakur
  • Nirupa Roy is a vamp
  • Ranjeet (instead of removing) gifting a sari to a girl and saving her izzat from goondas…
  • Sunny Deol is beaten up by a street rowdy
  • Kulbhushan Kharbanda is a billionaire
  • Helen is hero’s sister
  • Dev Anand stays steady for 10 minutes
  • Amitabh Bachhan is not Vijay and Shah Rukh khan is not Rahul
  • Instead of kheer or gajar ka halwa, hero’s mom orders dominos ka pizza for him :-)

What do you say :-) I would love to hear from you!

© Except image in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Parde me rahene do....parda na uthao :-)

Vodafone ka puppy.... ALWAYS happy to help!

  • If you want to have an affair, ensure your better half does not have a faithful pet.
  • If your better half loves pet, better you be faithful :)
LOL...I still can't stop laughing! :D

© Except image in this post, all rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Din hai suhana (?) aaj 17 august hai…

16th August ‘09

11.00pm : I am feeling uneasy, restless and sad. I don’t know why :(
11.40pm : I am still feeling the same. I log off from the Internet. I am not sleepy at all. I will watch TV now.

17th August ‘09

12.00am : Couple of short phone calls.
1.15am : Switched off TV. I will try to sleep.
1.30am : Still restless :-|. Switched on laptop. Go online.
1.45am : Switched off laptop. I will surely sleep now.
7.39am : Something is ringing. Is it a dream? After a while, I realized it’s my phone.
Hmm..I am feeling feverish. I can feel body temperature higher than normal. Oh boy even throat is paining. Phew! Looks like Mr. Fever has caught me again :-(
7.45am : Get up dude! Leave the bed.
8.45am : Couple of quick phone calls. I am still sleepy. May be tired.
9.15am : I am going online to find out symptoms of swine flu. Phew – sore throat is listed as one of the symptoms.
9.30am : Should I go to the office? There are couples of meetings to attend. Hmm… Let me go and come back early.
10.15am : Leave for the office. I am surely not feeling well.
11.00am : Reached office. I realize my manager is not coming to work and meeting is cancelled. I will quickly check with my project team about few pending tasks.
11.30am : Left office.
12.00pm : Reached home.
12.10pm : Calling Apollo Hospital. I don’t want to take any chance! The operator said she will check and confirm the appointment.
12.20pm : A call from Apollo Hospital. I have an appointment at 1pm.
1.00pm : Meet the doctor. Thankfully, it’s just normal viral infection and nothing to worry :-). Buy medicine and come home.
2.00pm : Reached home. I will cook. I don’t want to eat out.
2.30pm : Lunch. Followed by medicine as dessert.
3.00pm : Oh! Power gone :-(. Huh. It will be restored only after an hour. I am on bed doing nothing. Thankfully, I fell asleep.
4.15pm : Wake up! Power is back. I am going online. Browsing here and there.
5.30pm : I will watch TV now. Tuning to Nat Geo for an episode of hijacking of an Air France aircraft. Pretty interesting.
6.00pm : It started raining! Wow! Welcome relief! :-)
7.00pm : It’s still raining. I am still watching TV. I don’t want to do anything this evening except being at home, watching TV and resting.
8.30pm : It’s still raining. I am watching “Tarak Mehta Ka Ulta Chashma”. If you are a Gujarati, you may know that Tarak Mehta used to write (and still writing) his weekly column called “Duniya ne Ulta Chashma”. This serial is just picturization of that column. We knew all these characters since last few decades!
8.34pm : Writing this blog entry.
9.00pm : Thankfully, I am feeling better. Though throat is paining a little and body is still tired, thankfully nothing to worry.
9.10pm : I will upload this blog entry.

Don’t know what will I do from now till midnight.

P.S. : 17th August is my birthday.

© All rights reserved with Mihir Rawal. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

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